I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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