im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
