i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
