did you get engaged???
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
