Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
