is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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