2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize