Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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