The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
