Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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