By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
