So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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