i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
