just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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