I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
