you would pick up someone in the library
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
We are all done wearing pants today
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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