Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
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his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
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You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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