I'm lost and stupid without you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize