My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Small penises have feelings too.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
