5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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