You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
