I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
