i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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