Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
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