I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
