they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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