So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize