nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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