I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
