Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
