Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican