Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
