I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Holy sore nipples Batman
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
