She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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