im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
