Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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