i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
