i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I look better un-naked...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Randomize
