that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.