Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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