I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.