Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick