I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
