Got a toothbrush?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
