i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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