Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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