I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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