are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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