Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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