Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
