I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
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Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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