She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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