the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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