What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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