apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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