shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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