I need help removing her.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
