I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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