He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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