Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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