Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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