a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think people are normalizing furries
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
